Just minutes after the GRE is over

After committing to verbal learning for a really great deal of time finally I got 148 out of 170 which is not satisfying, not at all!

I should say that it was very hard! I had done a lot of tests and read a lot of words but as you know it is a bad ass exam on your vocabulary and verbal skill.

I was holding the hope to get at least 150. However it is over.

The thing is that I had slept less than 6 hours last night and I could not get sleep today so I had a tired mind!

In the afternoon I tried to get sleep but I could not except for almost 20 minutes and then I jumped awakened.

Solving verbal questions needs true focus which I did not have, unfortunately due to lack of sleep. I could have been better than this if I had slept enough. But you know, it is about the rules of universe that sometimes you are not going to do well or do near your best.

In my case, I was far from my ideal status so I could not show my abilities and it is hard to get over it.

I had studied for the test and I deserved much more than this. It's not fair. not at all.

The quant section was as hard as it was expected so I managed to get 159 out of 170.

The only thing that I regret is the last question that I had solved to 99 percent of it and just when I reached the mouse to select the answer, which I am completely sure it was correct, my time was up and it stopped me from choosing the answer.

If it had allowed me to select the answer I would have gotten above 160. Oh GOD!

The answer was 15/58. How agonizing it is!

Waiting to get the analytical writing score that will be available in 8 days.

I thing I would get 3.5-4 out of 6.

The exam in this section is based on your reasoning ability, it is an essay which I am good at but in my native language.

In English I am good in some cases I do even better than in Persian but the problem is speed of writing the essay.

In Persian I write essays of 1000 words in less than 15 minutes but in English I can write essays of at most 500 words in 30 minutes.

And in the GRE exam, you got only 30 minutes which means I could write at my best about 500 words which I did, I guess.

Hope you fare well my friend; And you know who I mean. Be healthy, hopeful, positive and industrious that guarantee your success. Wish you your heart get more and more open and strong.

it matters

I should not lose my will power. I shan't.

end it; or be ended

Do you know what "extreme" is?

It doesn't matter, just know it happens in the final scene.

You have been on a journey for a while,

we know that things tend to get harder as the course progresses;

in one hand you see  your energy debilitates and on the other hand you see the path gets narrower and the trail is fading...

as much as you get closer to the end even the rate at which things are getting harder will increase,

your heartbeat speeds up so as the rate does. like marching for a final battle.

the rate gets to its full potential in the latter moments when things put on a disguise to mislead you to the state of impossibility,

when it seems there is no vestige of hope,

when the universe oppresses you to the feeling of your end,

this is the time that they say extreme; it is adjacent to the end, 

it is the harbinger of the end actually.

Just one step is remaining.

Beware of the taking last step.

Tie a streak of hope around your finger as a remembrance of your alliance with infinity.

Whenever the universe tries to stop and oppress you just take a glance at your finger; you will overcome it.

This is not only my promise but also my firsthand experience.

چرا همیشه سرسری میخونیم و رد میشیم؟

چه اهمیت دارد اگر می‌رویند قارچ‌های غربت؟

حیات مجدد

من تو را مشغول می‌کردم، دلا

یاد آن افسانه کردی عاقبت

جاودانگی

بهبود کیفیت زندگی در بعد اخلاقی تنها چیزیه که ارزش هزینه کردن زمان رو داره.

زمان مهمترین دارایی ماست. 

زمان برای تمام سایر دارایی‌ها محدودیت ایجاد میکنه.

شما فکر کن تمام هستی مال شماست ولی تا کی؟ به محض اینکه دارایی شما از زمان تمام بشه، مالکیت شما از تمام سایر دارایی‌ها صفر میشه.

زمانِ هر کس، به نظر من، اینطور باید در نظر گرفته بشه:

فرصتی برای کسب و تبدیل دارایی‌ها به دارایی‌های فناناپذیر.

زمان که جلاد دارایی‌‌هاست خودش فرصت میده که دارایی‌ها رو از زیر تیغ خودش دربیاریم. یعنی مالکیت ما از هر دارایی که داریم بعد از اتمام دارایی ما از زمان امتداد پیدا کنه.

خوبه نه؟

اما چطوری؟

پ.ن:

زمان غبار فناست و بر فرصت مالکیت می‌نشینه.

و چیزهایی هست که ورای زمان حیات دارن.

مثل صفات نیک و حتی بد.

می‌دونی چقدر دارایی‌های فیزیکی باید خرج کنی تا فقط یک کلمه مثل «راستگو» رو به دست بیاری؟

ندامت بدتره یا حسرت

از کرده‌هات پشیمونی؟

نه، از ناکرده‌هام پشیمونم.

شیر سنگی 1365/1986

Eli and never and me

After you I always felt a crater on my moon.

It's never filled.
Time inexorably ticks away and all the moments take off unemotionally without looking back.
Me? Alternate between future and past just like a pendulum once I toll the future bell and then past one; Totally oblivious of the moment, of now.
There have been a lot of things in my escapade of life that I wish I could take back when I get overly mawkish; Especially some of enjoyments and accomplishments.
I'll be fine, that's preordained.
I'm undergoing an unknown metamorphosis, which will finally get me come into my own.
Then, guess what I'll do =)
To the consternation of universe, I will settle in the sedate lap of a hot-air balloon for the next adventurous journey without food or drink because I believe.

I didn't know me

I've been fighting illness for more than two decades; who is stronger than me?

=))))

چند کیلومتر در ساعت بیشتر

وقتی بچه بودم یه خودرو پیکان داشتیم.

اونموقع نمیدونم چند درصد خانوارها خودرو داشتن. خیلی کم شاید 20 درصد. 

تعدادی هم ماشین خارجی بود؛ بی ام و، بنز، تویوتا، فیات، بیوک...

این خودروها سرعت وشتاب خیلی بهتری نسبت به پیکان داشتن

و توی جاده ها ما همیشه از اینها عقب میفتادیم و برای من شکست به حساب میومد؛

و... حس اقتدار و خواهش برتری جویی من از همون بچگی لکه دار شد.

can't we just throw the reason out, I wonder

I don't wanna die.

I'm not ready for that.

I'm not done in spite of not having a single tiny reason to live my life.

To grab this unknown opportunity,

And sail this melting boat of ice in this repetitious and yet unknown water,

Toward the edge of unknownness.

Shan't we stick to facts, reasons and causes?

Really?

Do you think you should live for a reason?

Or, you should have a reason to get on with your life and keep living?

Isn't it a real crap?

I remembered a wonderful aspect of zero degrees of Kelvin in which resistance maybe gone.

Beautiful, huh?

You may have no resistance, imagine, so equally you have no friction as well.

Just flow.

If there's no reason to live then there's no reason not to live as well.

Flow wherever you wish.

شطرنج من با خدا

یکی از حقه‌های بشر در فریب جوینده علم اینه: به هر چیزی که پایانی براش نمیتونه متصور باشه میگه بی‌نهایت.

بی‌نهایت دیروز و بی‌نهایت فردا.

بی‌نهایت زمان و فضا.

نسل بشر بعد از چه تعداد زاد و ولد به پایان خواهد رسید؟ از اونجایی که پاسخی برای این سوال نداریم بایدبه جوینده علم بگیم: تداوم بشر بی‌نهایت است!

نمیدونم چرا و چطوریه که آدم به پایان یافتنش ایمان داره و در عین حال آزمند جاودانگی است. بگذریم که من خودم نه تنها آرزوی عمر هزار ساله دارم بلکه دیوانه‌وار باور هم دارم.

اینکه خالق، بشر رو توانا کرده که بتونه یک «دایره» بکشه این یعنی بشر رو به حصار بسته زندگی معترف کرده. آن هستی که در آن «بسته» قابلیت تعریف پیدا کند آنگاه باید گفت آن هستی توانا به «بستن» است.

کوچکترین واحد زمان چیست؟ فرض کنیم یک میلیاردم ثانیه. آیا میتونی به اندازه یک میلیاردم ثانیه این زندگی رو ترک کنی و بعد دوباره برگردی؟ خیر نمیتونی. این یعنی دیکتاتوری ممتد حیات. حصار.

اگه تونستی یک دایره بکشی که راه فراری به بیرونش وجود داشته باشه اونوقت ادعا کن که «آزادی» قابل دست یافتنه.

اگه تونستی یک اتم از این دنیا کم کنی یا اگه تونستی یک اتم به این دنیا اضافه کنی...

اگه راهی برای دست یافتن به «آزادی» وجود داشته باشه قطعا از مرحله «آزادی هرگز محقق نخواهد شد» عبور میکنه. چرا که صرفا در این مرحله میتونی بفهمی که «آزادی» چیه.

freedom; the fatuous jingle of our civilization

but only those deprived of it have the barest inkling of what it really is

ولی ما میتونیم باری که الکترون‌ها دارن رو تغییر بدیم!

الکترون‌هایی که این دایره رو رسم می‌کنند!

do not try and bend the spoon

that's impossible

و من...،

در« پهنه‌ی بیکرانی» لحظه تحسین زیبایی را از دریچه‌ای ماورای «زمان» زندگی می‌کنم.

my long-life desire

We believe that the only way to change is to discover the truth and look at it in the face.

The Last Emperor