free but not joined

just when I had to start working on my thesis I was haunted with this thought that my thesis should be something helpful to humanity.

well, this is an abstract wish.

every person may have their own definition of being helpful and of being helpful to humanity.

see there are two things intertwined together although this part is not the mess but being helpful.

so I sought solace in religion specifically monotheism and in a nutshell I found Curie's symmetry principle as my resort.

the symmetry principle talks about how existence of things depends on having an asymmetry.

it is a long philosophical reasoning to show how symmetry leads to monotheism which I'm not gonna explain.

anyway, I passed the ghastly ordeal of my thesis resorting to Curie's symmetry principle.

I was happy, truly I tasted the barest inkling of happiness in a very short, fleeting moment.

it's gone, far far ago.

lets not judging the helpfulness of my thesis now because I can't analyze it. lets say it was helpful by 50 percent of chance.

I guess if it was helpful I would not write this now, however, lets move on to our current problem.

that Curie's principle does not work anymore for me to continue on this journey.

desperate in need of a path led to something helpful, is me.

this is my situation.

am I too obsessed with the helpfulness idea?

if so, what should be left of us after we finish our journey on the earth? just descendants? or, competent descendants?

not bad! I had not thought about that! weird but prospect of a solution.

I did think about having competent descendants but not as a path to tread on for my whole life journey rather as module as a part of this journey, actually as a must.