complexity and reality

never thought to say this but I think it's real and I'm bereft of hope

who ever thought?

by the way, am I conceding or confessing or admitting!

for, 

-if I'm confessing it means I'd been bereft of hope and I've been denying it

-if I'm admitting it means I've recently lost my hope and have had the courage to accept it

-if I'm conceding - it is different and - it means I still have hope since I'm unwillingly saying that!